Debunking the Myth That Healthy Relationships are Boring
by Cathy Wagner - posted September 30, 2018

Healthy relationships are boring? Really? Are you kidding me?

You might think it's sexy or exciting to be a little afraid of your mate, I don't. You might think it's kind of like a fun surprise to come home from work every day wondering who you will find, the person you love or their cranky alter ego, but I don't. You might think it would be an excellent adventure to be a single parent and co-parenting with an angry ex-partner, I don't.

You see, most unhealthy relationships don't really seem to start off that way, and truthfully, the most "fairy tale" courtships I've heard of, where he literally sweeps her off her feet, showers her with attention and gifts, and wants to marry her pretty quick, have been the saddest and most abusive relationships, long term. The beginning of the relationship is only half the story, and certainly the best half, while they are still putting their best face forward. Over time, and certainly after you are married, it will become less important to unhealthy partners to show their affection, and even their basic respect.

Does rejecting an unhealthy relationship mean that you must settle for a boring relationship? No.

Of course, you will have to do the personal "interior work" to insure that you are not the unhealthy partner. Some people might find this prospect "boring", but if you are "totally fine" and it's up to everyone else to do the work to become a healthy partner, then maybe you are the unhealthy partner. Something to think about.

That aside, what does a healthy relationship look like? Well, do you like to talk together? Laugh together? Maybe you have the same interests? Maybe you like to cook together? Maybe you like exploring and expanding your sex life?...How about going to sleep without worrying that the other is mad at you? How about not fighting or yelling at each other? How about feeling valued, cared for and respected? How could this be boring?!